The Waiting Place

I reside in limbo
The place between now and then
It is sparse and dimly lit
I live here with only you
And we stare at our plates without words
And like always
I wait

We play chess
And it's always your turn
But you never go
Never move a single piece from our board
So I wait
And maybe when I cry out
From the pain of waiting so helplessly
For signs of life
Maybe then you make an absentminded move
And maybe one day you won't notice
You're in check-mate
And the game has ended

I wait for changes
Wait for new breaks
I wait for happiness again
But will I even recognize it?
I wait for things to be better
Things to be worse
Things to be
Maybe just be like they were
Before I knew I was waiting
Hoping, wishing so hard
For nothing at all

I am me again
Seasonal
But fixed like the Earth
In orbit
Around my sun

There's a flow
Like the tides
When I write
When I don't write
But after a dry spell
Words always do
Inch their way up
And wrap around my fingers
Urging me to write
Making their way
Onto this screen

But not now, words,
Not now that I'm happy
I'm happy
I'm happy
Don't threaten me with thoughts
Dont' taunt me with introspection
Can't you see
I'm happy?

If you have to be here
If you have to come out somehow
Then teach me how to
Stay in this season
Teach me the secret
To eternal fall
Teach me comfort
And teach me how to
Finally let go

Across the universe

My body is a cavern

A hollow vacuum, hungry

For elusive contentment

I am ravenous

I search

Cry out for you

I haunt you

And illuminate you

With light

Like perfect white stars

Pulsing around my head

Light you sent years ago

Finally reaching

The deepest part of me

No sooner than you came to me

You are gone

And I may never believe it's true

Why won't you let me say goodbye?

Instead you let me empty out

Like a breath into the atmosphere

I'll travel a million miles

To reach your supernova

I'll find your black hole heart

Only to be swallowed

Left again with nothing

But the insatiable hunger

For

more...

How must it feel
To be me
Older and still disconnected
Alcoholic and still unsuccessful
At so much in life

We are the same
So much I inherited from you
That I feel compelled to return to you
And tell you that everything
Turned out okay
In the end

I am you without your disease
You without your regrets
And disconnection
You with an education
A happy spouse
And future prospects
I am you without your roots
To a barren land
I am you with everything
You could ever imagine
Wanting in this life

You can put your faith in me
You can rest your hopes on me
I will carry your burdens
Along with my own
And I will take flight anyway

I am forging myself
Strong, folded steel
I will run
Until the me I always was
Melts away
I will become new
And strong
Like an artificial heart

You will not find
Who I was
Scattered along this road
I'm running
And you will not catch me
None of you will ever
Catch me
Because I will not grow tired
I will not fall
Again

And I'll never let you know me
Never let any of you know me
Or think you understand me
Again
I'll be on guard
Watchful soldier
I will run
Until you all forget
Who I never was

Independence Day

I discover myself
Buried
Suffocating under heavy sands
Choking on the tides
You bring to me
Try to water me like a garden
I'm an orchid
And these waters only wilt
My arid heart

You are blue
Oh, my love
You surround
And tie me down
With love
Like silly-string
Blue, my love
Like the absurd eyes
You cannot leave

I want to end every poem
With these lines
So true

At night
She hears the sounds of fire
Soldiers practice to fight wars
And it sounds like the 4th of July

Reprieve

You are
A mistake
I can never fix
Yellow friend
False friend
I know hate
Because I loved


And you are
The one who burns
In my secret fire
You burn with the old me
The smoke
Fills my life with the stench of
Regret
Regret that defines you

I gave you my secrets
You attacked
With lies
And I believed you
Believed you cared for me
But you wanted to break me
Break
Every
Bone
In the girl
I once was

I could blame you
For the burning mess
For the havoc
For the complete destruction
Of me

Instead I thank you
For letting me burn myself
And rebuild myself
Stronger and without
Any need for support
Without any need
For you

I thank you for
Teaching me about grudges
You know
Sometimes there should be
No reprieve

Spinning wheel

Today is not the day
To crumble
I tell myself
Leaned over the granite countertop
Staring at the puddle of tears
I’m not as strong as I want to be
As I seem to be
As I need to be

The moments of happiness in my life
Are like fireflies
Blinking in and out of sight
But now it’s dawn
And there’s nothing but ambient light
I picture the sun rising like a beacon behind me
And I just can’t turn around

But there is no sun behind me
No specks of light on the horizon
And tomorrow I’ll just run another circle
Around my spinning wheel
And pray that my work and effort will pay off
I want a life that teaches me humility
Instead of insulting my intelligence

Love in Mexico

We had dreams and reasons
No concept of failure
No idea of success
Or that in the end
More than anything else
Life meant compromise
And waiting

I hugged your wet skin
My bare cheek and soaked hair
Clinging to your back

Speeding in an old rented scooter
Riding until the storm was behind us
I wore colors like you wore nothing
And we danced through the sand
Wasn't it so cliche
How it felt to be in love
In Mexico

I posed for bikini photos
Pale from Mississippi winter
But proud and feeling beautiful
Your wife
She looks just like a model
The cleaning lady said to us
I blushed and blamed the photographer
But I remember
Believing her anyway

When did I change
Become disenchanted
Grow up
And lose me
And why can I forgive everyone
For everything
Except me
For anything

When I stand before you
I see myself
No-I see who I want to see
At that very moment

When my world is sky blue
And my heart is lighter than helium
I see me beautiful
With a sunbeam smile
And eyes like the cloudless sky
Yes, I can love me, too

When my world is a rainstorm
Torrid floods smear my face
Distort and appall me
I am a pallid ghost
The clouds cast ashen shadows
Across my empty expression

What is it that others see
I often wonder
If I change like the capricious heavens
Making and remaking myself
Until I'm satisfied with me

In Search of Life

In the Great Salt Lake
They say
There is little life
Tiny microorganisms
Lacing the bottom depths
In an otherwise desolate hole

I know that team of scientists
Determined to find something
Where there is apparently nothing
Wading through years of possibilities
To find dead end staircases
Analyzing meaningless data
And coming to false-hope filled conclusions
Finding real life is so very difficult

Desert Life

My memories of you
Are grains of sand
In this dust storm
There's no rain
In my arid heart
To wash you away

I want them to know
Then I'll disappear
In the heat and pressure
Of right and wrong
Good and bad
And there will only be
What is and isn't
What happened
What didn't

You will return
Perfect honor
Stranger
Never again who I
Never quite knew
To begin with

Years will teach me
What I need to learn
And years will teach you
That in this oasis
These vines we climb
Are of the same root
And everything I write
Is both about you
And not

Overdue

I'm done with the blogging part of this blog. No blogs. Just poetry. Enjoy.

Oda a la Montaña

My mountain-
Still in a grey cloak,
You dissolve into atmosphere.
Clouds of rain and light
Guard your stairway,
Hug your time softened peaks.
You are for me
And me alone.

I want to caress your crevasses
With my eager footsteps.
I want to know you like the sun
Knows the horizon.
I want to feel your gravity
Make me microscopic.

And if there is a way
That you could love me,
That you could understand me,
That you could be my mountain,
and I could be your monument.
I would love you,
Wear you down
Until you were
Just a grassy hill.

Second Anniversary: 5/17/2010

I promise this poetry blog will not turn me into the poety laureate of my family and life, but I had to write something for my husband on our anniversary because of all we've been through. Moving to a new state and moving onto new stages in our lives has caused a disconnect in what I'd previously considered important and necessary. I had to learn many things to make life work here, but now that things are settling in, I realize that we are both better people, that our marriage is stronger now because of what we've gone through. Because of these things, it's hard to regret how things transpired to make it this way. The thing that amazes me most about my husband is how he believes in me, and I don't mean half-heartedly says he does but doesn't back it up. I mean how much he really believes in me, no matter how insane my ideas seem to the rest of the world. Steve understands me like nobody else does. I couldn't be more appreciative of this fact. To understand someone, to really understand them at their core, is to love them.

Half of me

I can be broken
Like that surrealist
Alarm clock
Stuck at 2:45
Some days I shatter
Like crystal
On the floor
Lack of confidence
Lack of direction
But you cradle
The shards that slice you
Little knives
I am constantly
Melting and reforming
Better for you
I can’t help
That half me
Will always be
Devoted to selfishness
And the pursuit of self
But the other half of me
Will always be
You

This one is for my mother. Overdue, I might add...

On The Shore

I know she was there
My mother
But I can’t see her face
In any of my memories
I remember her off-key lullaby
Her index finger
Coaxing my eyelids closed
At naptime

I know she was there
I’ll never forget her telling me
We’d move to Massachusetts
Just the two of us
And drive a Mazda Miata
And when she’d go away
She always came back
With stuffed animal souvenirs

I know she was there
She always has been
The string holding the shards of my life
When everything, everyone else fails
Disappoints, wounds, or deserts
The island that is my mind
She’s waiting like she’s always waited
Quietly on the shore

New blog.: Cinco de Mayo

This poem was written late at night on the night that one might consider the Mexican holiday of Cinco de Mayo. It's about not celebrating. Enjoy.

Cinco de Mayo
I'm alone and sober
And old like a rocking chair
Creaking at the joints
And waiting for something

People are happy somewhere
Happily dancing
With happy strangers
Happily sleeping
Tight in their happy beds

But it's 1:19
Now Seis de Mayo
And here I sit
Thinking of thoughtlessness
Dreaming of dreamless sleep
And wanting to fall asleep
Under water

Day 24: Write an evening poem

Well, I know I'm behind and all that, and really there's only one more day left of this month, but I will see this challenge out to the bitter end.. and then beyond. No, I won't be writing daily poems after this challenge, but honestly, I haven't written daily poems DURING this challenge either. ;) So here's my evening poem. Enjoy.

04/24/2010: Evening poem

Evening Swim

We peel our clothing off
All but the summer skins
My arms wrap around me
In the stillness of twilight
At the pool that’s closed
‘Til June

We drift into the cold water
Like a hesitant baptism
No smiles of approval
And in the end there’s no amen
Nothing lingers there
Except regret

I venture underwater
Lost from sight and sound
A nebulous existence
But I can feel your desire
Thick like panes of glass
Between us

This evening swim could last
Forever or more if we let it
But just like when summer ends
The cold sinks down to remind us
And so we part our ways
In languid silence

Day 23: a truly inspired haiku

This poem couldn't be any truer. I know it's just a haiku, but that's all I had the energy to do. You'll forgive me. It's your job.


04/23/2010: Write an exhaustion poem

Snooze

Five in the morning
My fingers grope for the snooze
But instead I wake

Day 22: Earth Day poem

Well...here it is. This prompt was less than inspiring, as usual, but it was predictable enough. I planted a Sweet Pea flower today with my charge, Kiran. I've done my duty as a citizen of the Earth, apparently.. Also, this poem is being critiqued by my fellow poet, so if you see it early, you might not see the best version. I'll update when it's finished. Just figured I should go ahead and get it posted.

Oh, hey.. have you noticed how my poems are starting to take on forms? It's odd..seeing the progression of my poetry. Is it a good thing? I'm not sure.. but it's happening anyway.

04/22/2010: Earth poem

Songs for Planet Earth

There are too many sweet love songs
Light-hearted, bare-footed, sun shining
Through uncut blond locks songs
About you
Planet Earth

Too many garden, tree house, box-car
Racing songs of sweet summer humidity
And cold, frosty morning exhalation psalms
About you
Planet Earth

I’ll spare you my accolades, my adulation
My horror and detestation. What surprises me
Is how very little we really care
About you
Planet Earth

Day 20 for real, the last one was for Day 21

I hate this poem, but it's all I could manage. I apologize in advance for the low quality of this poem. I'd say enjoy, but that's very wishful thinking.

04/20/2010: Write a poem about looking back or not looking back

But I won't look back

I’ll look above
Blue skies melting into colors
A final lively burst from the day

I’ll look ahead
The green field before me
Is ripe and I’ll run out of breath

I’ll look beside
Your gibbous face turning
Waxing full and I’m at peace

I’ll look beyond
Glossy Photoshopped lies
Imprinted on my soul forever

But I won’t look back

Day...What day is it?

Ok so this is day (insert day) of the challenge, and I've just decided to continue posting to my blog. I mean seriously, was I ever going to really be published anyway? ;) I doubt it. So for the good of mankind as a whole, I post my poetry here.. here for all four of you to read. I hope you all are enjoying my random musings.

04/??/2010: According to____________

According to Mercury

In the summer
I watch Mercury climb
Winding spiral staircases
To the highest tower
With wings on his heels
You'd think he'd fly
But he just creeps along
Like a house-worn mule

The message from Mercury
Manifests itself in
A pearl of sweat
Rolling along my jaw
I know it's time
To shed my winter layers
Time for summer dresses
Wide-brimmed hats

I cry for mercy
For solace in the shade
I dress for him, light and barefoot
The rocking chair lends a breeze
Of stilted dewdrop air
Too soon days will come
When I’ll curse his mercurial flippancy
As he climbs back down

Day 19: Writing about neighbors

I don't know Mr. Smith very well, but he's an elderly fellow living next door to me. I know he's on dialysis a few times a week, I know he's a WWII veteran, and I know he grows a few fruits and veggies in his yard. His apparent favorite leisure time activities (Lieblingsfreizeitbeschaeftigung, for all you German word lovers) are sitting in the lawn chair in the front yard and taking tiny steps using his walker to go get the mail. Here's my poem for Mr. Smith.

Oh, and on a side note, this was also written in a state of exhaustion. Pardon any mistakes, please.


04/19/2010: Use someone's name in a poem title and write about them.

Mr. Smith, WWII Vet

Days pass lazy like magnolia blooms
Summer’s here early, Mr. Smith
Just for you

Picking tomatoes is easy, Mr. Smith
Even with arthritic fingers
You’ll do fine

Don’t let the watermelons get away
Last year’s crop withered on the vine
Dead and gone, Mr. Smith

Day 18: The day Mr. Brewer at Writer's Digest gave up...

The prompts are less than inspiring, let's face it. This one, I believe, is an all time low for him thus far. The prompt for this poem was "To_________."

In my sleep deprived exhaustion, I've been able to produce two poems thus far today. One more and I'll be all caught up. I'll post the ones I've got momentarily. On a side note, I'm still going to the gym at 6:00 and spinning class isn't as easy as the name might imply...


Here's my poem from that prompt.

04/18/2010: To______

To Love and Lose

Just once I’d like to not care
To feel apathy in full force
You’ll tell me you’re lonely
And I will neither care nor comprehend
How it feels to be alone

But no, it cannot be this way
I’m the goddess of this universe
Benevolent and kind
I cannot let you be this way
I will love you until your end

One day the wellspring
Of my soul will run dry
And I wonder if you’ll be here
Wringing out the final droplets
While I die of thirst

Day 17: Let's get Physical...

Ok, I love the premise behind this prompt.. and apparently what I've done with it is worth posting, so here it goes. As always, I'm open to criticism!

04/17/2010: Science poem

Let's Get Physical

“Physics is like sex:
Sure, it may give us practical results,
But that’s not why we do it.”
-Richard P. Feynman

Nothing flips my switch
Nothing turns my knobs
Quite like a good science geek
With an I.Q. fit for Mensa

With that Topology book in one hand
And a shaky mug of coffee in the other
I don’t care that you don’t see me
You could make me quiver
From across the known universe

I don’t need your strong jaw line
I don’t need your Greek god legs
Speak a language I don’t know
And I’m more than happy to explore
The Grand Unification Theory with you

Draw a vector down my spine
Make me your personal graph paper
Move your hands along my sine waves
I’ll let you be my derivative
And lay tangent to my curves
Let's put theories aside for the night
While you bisect my angle

Day 16: Death

I thought a lot about death and dying before I finally came up with this poem. I didn't take it any way I thought it would go, but here it is nonetheless. Enjoy or don't. I hope it's the former.

04/16/2010: Death poem

"Untitled"

Does it hurt to die?
I want to ask you
But that painful smile on your withered mouth
Makes me think twice about opening mine

I want to think instead
Of you in that blue velveteen recliner
Sitting on legs that could walk
Telling stories in a voice I could hear
Now drowned by the hole in your throat
And the iron lung
Now your skin
Is a papery white daffodil bloom

They used to take you out into the sun
And pull the gown up to your knees
Like you could feel the warmth
On your paralyzed legs

Day 15: Missed my deadline

This poem prompt was to be to write a poem about a deadline. Being that I do not do very well with stress, I felt obliged to miss this poem's "deadline," and write it a day late. Here it is, finally.

And for those who don't know, fall of my senior year, I took 24 hours in college. I wanted to finish on time with the degrees I wanted, so I had to do it. Here's how it panned out.

04/15/2010: Deadline poem

Twenty-Four Hour Semester

My eyes unfix
Words scatter
Coming back together
In alphabet soup

Two German essays
Japanese kanji test
Spanish short story
Two bullshit assignments
For classes I can’t even recall
All due tomorrow

After perfecting my
Homemade cookie recipe
I’m not tired
But all I can do is sleep
And hope that 24 hours
Is enough for them

Day 14: I am an island

This prompt I found very intriguing for whatever reason. I wrote the title and realized the poem was not going in the direction I intended. Oh well, when the poem writes itself, I don't question it!

04/14/2010: ________ Island

One Woman Island

She doesn't sleep much anymore
Palms touching between thighs
Eyes resting behind closed lids
Backlit by the synapses firing
Twenty-nine more days
He'll come back home

She watches home movies
Re-runs in her restless mind
That time he caught the blue crab
Or when he flew his plane over the house
Her yellow dress blowing in the wind
They waved at each other

She followed him to Oklahoma
Learned to two-step in leather boots
She followed him to Charleston
Fell in love with the ocean and wine
She followed him to Florida
And started a family with him

Ten years and two kids later
They call him to Afghanistan
Those songs once made her love America
Now she just can't seem to find it
And everyday she worries
That she doesn't worry enough

At night, she hears the sound of fire
Soldiers practice to fight wars
And it sounds like the fourth of July

Day 13: Love Poem or Anti-Love poem

It's hard to force this one out, so instead of a traditional love or anti-love poem, I've written a love haiku for my pug. I call it "Viktor."

04/13/2010: Love or Anti-Love poem

Viktor

You snore while awake
Your curly tail fluttering
I cannot but love you

Day 12: Love for Tokyo

Today's prompt was nice for me. I knew immediately what city name my poem would be entitled: had to be Tokyo. Here's what I managed... (The Japanese is followed by a poetic translation into English)

04/12/2010: City name as title


Tokyo 東京

You pulse through me like neon
Light my veins with liquid fire
Just when I think I understand
You catch my breath with intrepid speed
I implode for you
Tokyo

You laugh at my vivid hair
Wide gaijin blue eyes
I turn away from you on the train
With your soft-core manga porn
Your notion of modesty
Lost on me
Tokyo

You call me stranger
When I leave you 7 weeks wiser
There’s a still silence between us
And a shallow bow of respect
But I think I might be in love
With you
Tokyo

Sumitomo-sankaku biru de
Yoru no sora no shita ni
Ginza to iu housekiya nimo
Sugoku kirei desu

In the Sumitomo-triangle building
Underneath the night sky
Even the Ginza jewelry stores
Are painfully beautiful

Day 11: Because 11 is the best number

I like the prompt for today, actually. It's not a particularly interesting one, to be sure, but it still inspires me. Or maybe today is just an inspired sort of day. First let me begin by telling those of you who do not already know that my job as a nanny, while fun and rewarding at times, is not the job I feel I should be doing. For reasons I cannot help, I feel that it insults my intelligence. Don't ask why, I really couldn't say. But anyway, I've decided that I belong in graduate school, naturally, so I'll be applying in November/December to various German programs. I'm excited, to say the least. The point in all of this was to lead into a discussion that Steve and I had today about how I've never tried at anything academic in my life. And it's true, I've never, ever tried. I've done enough (or what I thought was enough most of the time) to get all A's in my classes, minus a couple that I miscalculated. I've decided to try from now on. This reminds me of a nice little haiku that was read at a poetry brunch. It stuck with me. I'll screw up the word order, but it goes more or less like this: Given enough time/ Anything can change/ Even minds.

04/11/2010: "The Last ______"

The Last Day of Mediocrity


Baby, you tell me,
You never once tried
In your whole life
I just analyze the steam
Twisting from my coffee
Because no words come

Intellectual equal
You call me
But I’m frozen
In a lake of disbelief
These words never meant
So much to me

Your words
Crawled up my spine
From the inside
Enveloped me
Thick and sweet
Like Tupelo honey

You see me
Like no one else
A prism in the window
You are my colors
I am me
Because of you

Next time you speak
Those words to me
I’ll make it so
It’s no lie
I’m done with mediocrity
Next time, I’m going to try

Day 10 Finally finds me

What am I supposed to do with this prompt? Is he serious? A "horror" poem? What? Well anyway, I'll give it the old college try. My life is somewhat a horror story, so it shouldn't be so hard. Did I mention to any of you that horror is my least enjoyed genre of anything.. at all..?

Flower Pickers

Days are long like 5 o'clock shadows
The crease in my forehead is etched
By the end

The end comes like a surprise party
Each day at a new, novel time
Can I return the gift for time off?

That classical station only does so much
To smooth the wrinkles of distress
And calm my traffic congested mind

Home is my recharging station
Complete with thyme and tulips
Until today, that is

My face is contorted
When I see empty stems in the breeze
My sanctuary was decapitated

Just one more line...

This prompt was particularly difficult for me, and I can't even pinpoint exactly why. Should be easy, right? Self-portrait poem. Turns out I'm not so easy to figure out after all. This is what I could come up with that had any quality worth reading. See what you think of what I think of me...

P.S. I'm not fishing for nor am I interested in your contradictory opinions. I've never handled compliments well anyway... Don't bother, really.

04/09/2010: Self-Portrait

Jack of All Trades, Master of Cliches

You can find me at the bottom
Of every circle of interest
I'm the bottom feeder
I do everything some
And nothing all the way

I'm an artist
Without the eye
To make it pop

I'm an athelete
Without the body
To make the cut

I'm a linguist
Without the skill
To speak up

I'm a singer
Without the voice
To carry a tune

I'm a genius
Without the brains
To comprehend

I'm a poet
But all my words
Fall flat

Playing catch up...

I have two poems to write today, and while I love writing, somedays just don't come as easily as others. Today's one of those days where I'm completely uninspired by the prompt (ok, it's yesterday's because I'm playing catch up..) I'm supposed to use the name of a tool as the title and then write. Well, take a look-see yourself.

Blowtorch

Your angry words
Singe my eyelashes
And leave no tears

The day I almost gave up the challenge...

Ok, I'm not 100% serious about this.. but this is the day I started getting behind. I'm still 2 poems behind, but if I get them both done today, as planned, I'll be all caught up. Don't judge me.. I did follow the prompt...eventually. And the poem ended up a little bitter, if I do say so myself. But you know, as I was writing this one, yesterday (oh hush...) I realized that the poem just wouldn't work without this last line. It would be blah, blah, blah, blah without it. I actually wrote the whole poem, minus the last line much earlier than the last line..I let it sit and marinate..and I was two seconds from throwing it out when it hit me like a bolt of lightning. Now the poem works, I thought.. But only now, that the ending is so bitter.



04/07/2010: Until ______

Until I Get It Right

My fingers, long and inarticulate
Press down hard on each silken string
Again and again, until I get it right

The song is so simple it makes me hurt
A tack in my foot, a splinter in my pride
I’ll play it again and again, until I get it right

Then it happens, that one perfect change
I run over the notes with ease
Where before I always faltered

Now I’m master of these strings
Master of my universe, my life
Until I fuck up the ending, like always

Day 6 PAD

So this was an odd one too. I like what came from it, I suppose. I guess I'm not too much into the ekphrastic poetry, honestly. Maybe I'll be less of a philistine someday and get into it. But here's my poem anyhow.

04/06/2010: Pocahontas, by Annie Leibovitz

Enculturation

Great-grandmother was a flapper
A cigarette permanently caught
Between her lips

She grew old in the sun
A prune
Black hair to white
Then broke her hip
Falling from a barstool
In the casino
The burial mound of her
Dead Native American heritage

Like Pocahontas moving to England
Civilized
Means something entirely different
These days

Day 5 P.A.D. challenge

Really the challenge didn't start until the prompt from a couple days ago, which considering I'm writing this blog late would be this day. I'm still not really into this poem, but hey, considering the prompt was uninspiring, I'm just happy I could write anything at all on this day.

04/05/2010: TMI

Reasons for Marriage

HDTV
Blue Ray DVD
CAT 9 cords
Renew your IP
Twittering tweets and
Blogging are fogging
My every membrane
GPS
4G access
iPad, iPod, iPhone
iCan't. Seem to. Think straight.
They digitize
And hypnotize
With promises
And outright lies
It's TMI
I think we'd die
Without them

I don't need anyone or anything at all
Except a man with sufficient knowledge
To turn on my television
And set my phone alarm
And clean off my hard drive
All reasons enough
To promise him forever

Poem for day 4 of the challenge

I just love poetry...


04/04/10: History

I’m Already History

I wanted to be novel-
Tracing that scar along your spine
With my lips
In the incandescent glow
Of midnight apartment life

Afterwards I slept there
A feather beside you
Careful not to touch
But apt to respond
To your mid-dream rambles

This morning I perched on the sofa
Wrapped in your favorite anthology
With visions of pancakes
And eggs over-easy
This is why they don’t stay

That smile shaped mask
You put on this morning
Stinging nettles
Makes me realize
That I’m already history

P.A.D from day 3

I'm out of clever and even semi-clever remarks, so here's the poem.

04/03/2010: Partly _____

Partly fiction

In the road
Between what is and what might be
You are my spread eagle massacre
Hot with blood of blamelessness
Open chest cavity, a leaky faucet
To shower my snowy gardenias
Helpless, I hum aloud
Mary, Mary, quite contrary…
My garden grows with blood of man
And little carcasses all in a row

My life is a fable
Where my garden is a metaphor
A storybook wherein I write the words
Because I decide
What’s fact
And what’s only partly fiction

But like a good gardener
My thumb is green
And I will sprout roots and tendrils
To surround you like a chrysalis
A metamorphosis
From which
You will never wake

Tag Zwei: P.A.D.

So this is for the second day. If you've followed along on facebook, you probably have already read these. I'm going to try to get caught up today, so that we both stay current and up-to-date on what I'm writing. I would like to remind all of you (delusions of grandeur; assuming there might be more than one of you reading...) that poetry is fiction. It's often the most non-fiction thing that one can write, but to a reader, it's fiction. Take it that way, if you please. Also, I know it's a lot to ask, but if you have any criticism that you would consider constructive to the poem, please do share. Don't go out of your way, but feel free to share. I welcome it.

04/02/2010: Water

Sobering Musings

Pondering the minds of extroverts
I think about fluidity and stagnation
And maples and elms
And the story behind dogwood blossoms
And wondering how many glasses
Seven tastings equals
Because my mind winds a different path
When it's free from the constraints
Of sobriety

I bet they're more fluid than me, extroverts
Accepting and rejecting nearly anything
Without too much thought
Too much analyzing
My brain has faulty connections, I think
Just as I defend it for it's discernment

Your hand in mine feels nice
As you explain that introverts belong
Together
And I can see why you'd think that
It's the most natural thing on earth
Your hand in mine
There are no crashing cymbals
No bats in my stomach
Just peace like a morning fog
Hanging low over a hidden lake
That stretches from our hands
To my soul
You are my best friend
But even at the best of times
I don't love you
Like that

So I left the extroverts to their oceans
And my mind to it's damnation
Left my body on that Adirondack chair
To sweep the hill crowning vineyards
With my drunken child within

Poem A Day Challenge: Day one...

So since Facebook isn't exactly set up with ideal conditions for posting my poem a day for April (and maybe thereafter as well, we'll see...) I decided to start a blog. But with a blog, comes what I consider a responsibility to make people laugh. Sorry to disappoint. This is a different kind of blog. If you laugh, it will be at yourself. Enjoy my poem a day challenge. I know I sure am.

04/01/2010- Lonely

Is that why you're so lonely?
You ask me.
I am speechless
Breathless
Flightless
Lung-less
Incapable
Inculpable
Vulnerable
Like an epiphany,
It hits me
A wreck
Hot asphalt
Against my face
Skinned knees
Bleeding
Right there
In front of you
Yes, I say,
I guess that is why.